This picky shit is really wearing me down.

Venting here because I have no friends and no other outlet 🤷🏽‍♀️

I'm so fucking tired yall. My son is 15 months and the past 2 weeks he has been hell on two legs and I'm so angry and agitated and exhausted and spend half the day fantasizing about the life I could have had if I didn't have a kid.

He refuses to eat anything. Literally anything. Even things that were for sure favorites that he'd always eat. Blueberry waffles. Chicken nuggets. Cucumber. Apple. All of it is immediately tossed on the floor or he gleefully spreads it around his high chair tray in windshield wiper motions before then tossing it on the floor. It sounds irrational but him refusing to eat brings up this serious rage that immediately fouls my mood and I get to the point where I have to walk away to keep myself from slapping him on the hand to make him stop. The only reason I don't pop him is because I know its pointless and hitting doesn't teach them anything. I've never hit him but really fucking want to sometimes. The refusal to eat, the unnecessary fucking tantrums over the dumbest shit ever, the hitting and scratching and just constantly tearing shit up is really really getting to be too much. My floor is covered in kinetic sand. I told my partner not to give it to him but he caught sight of it and immediately flung himself backwards on the floor and started kicking and screaming because it wasn't in his hand right that instant. And at that point I was so over the all day whining I said fuck it give it to him. He picked uo handfuls of it and spread it all over the carpet and it's the cheap shitty kind that doesn't come up easily. After that he fkung himself backward on the hardwood and started kicking and screaming because he couldn't figure out how to pull a magnet off the fridge. Then he started kicking and screaming because he was making cookies with his dad and all the cookies were on the tray so the job was finished. Everything is a whine screech fest and I'm so so so over it.

He was so sweet, calm, and open to new foods. He used to eat everything. Now I can't even get the kid to eat a fucking graham cracker. And no its not because he's teething, he started acting like this after his molars cut. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of cleaning up the same messes over and over. I'm tired of him at my legs clinging and whining because I'm in the middle of making food for him to throw on the floor. I'm tired of wasting half of my day in the kitchen making food he won't eat. I'm tired of him flinging himself backwards onto the floor and screaming because he wanted to close the fridge or go back outside after being outside all day in fricking 30 degree weather. I'm just so so sick of everything right now.