Can't log into anything Microsoft related. Windows 11 but had this issue during Windows 10 too

I've been having this problem for months. "You'll need internet for this", "We can't log you into Xbox Live". I can log in just fine on the Microsoft Store on browser but when I open the Microsoft Store app I can't log in.

I click sign in, it lets me select my account. It lets me enter my password, looking good... and then it drops "You'll need Internet for this" (error code 800704cf) I obviously have internet on my computer.

This problem has been blocking me from ever playing Minecraft which I paid for two times. Finally got the game open after finding out about unofficial launchers but I still can't log in to access the full/paid version because it thinks I have no internet connection.

The sign in button on the game takes me to "We couldn't sign you into Xbox Live" with 0x80048869 and a Try Again and Switch Account button. Try again reloads this screen and switch account takes me to the Microsoft account selection screen.

If I click my existing account it gives the dreaded "You'll need Internet for this" 0x800704cf screen. If I click use a different account it takes me to a promising log in screen. Email works, password works. But then I get something about "Use Windows Hello With Your Account". I click OK and then it tells me something went wrong with regitering my account for Windows Hello.

If anyone has any idea how to solve this ridiculous issue it would be greatly appreciated. This has been stopping me from accessing Microsoft Store, Xbox App, and Minecraft Bedrock Edition (which I paid for TWICE and still cannot access). Tried to give as much info as I can without being able to post images.

(I sure hope no bot takes this down)