Seven years sober! Here are my tools
My first year sober I counted days and weeks and months as if my life depended on it. Yeah okay in some ways it did. But yesterday I plain forgot my seventh anniversary! I take that as a sign I’m doing well. Thank you all for grace and support!
I’d like to share my list of tools again, as I’ve done at every major milestone for a while. Serving from the immense potluck of wisdom and experience that is this sub, I could easily extend the list, but this is the essence. This is mine.
Your sobriety is yours. Your path is your own. I am humbled and grateful to be walking it with you, and know this, my dear, somewhat random, internet friend: I believe in you. You are here, you want this, and I am certain you can get it.
Friends and fellow travellers, let’s go! I will not drink with you today!
Step out of the shadows. Posting, commenting and being part of the community changed everything for me.
Set a goal. One hour, one day, one week; this trip, that visit - and count your victories! Then you know you can do it the next time too.
Moderation doesn´t work. I tried it for ten years, and it only made me miserable.
HALT. When I crave, am I really hungry, angry, lonely, tired? Staying one step ahead with some water, fruit or a snack has helped me a lot.
Play the tape forward. What happens if I take this drink? The next hour, the next day, the next week? For me, drinking is not just about one day of hangover - it is 40 days with that voice in my head.
Learn your triggers. Want a drink? Take a step or two backwards and see what just happened. Then, try to avoid it. It takes time to create new patterns, but it works. Knowledge is bliss.
Allow yourself to mourn the losses. For me it´s like a long and painful breakup with the love of my life. That is in addition to lost opportunities, growth, finances, relations, you name it.
Discover new joys. I´ve always loved fresh roast, hand brewed coffee; now I love it even more, particularly with the sunrise through my window.
Afraid to fall? My motorcycle teacher taught me that if you stare at an object in the road, you will hit it. Look where you´re going, not where you´re not going.
Did you fall? Don´t despair. Get up. The failure isn´t in falling, it´s in not getting up again.
Struggling with motivation? We all do. Go for resolution in stead. Motivation shifts, resolution stays.
Impatient? Waiting for that spunk, clarity, weightloss, zen born again bliss peace of mind? It took time to get where you are. It will take time and work to become the person you want to be, too. But you know what? You are already on your way, and that´s your doing. You can do this.
Stressed out? Inhale grace, exhale gratitude.
A huge shoutout to all you friends and fellow travellers here at SD, you have taught me so much! I admire your love, affection and wisdom, keeping this sub a place of beauty. I will not drink with you today!