Do you feel cheated by life because you'll never feel that innate confidence that comes with having an average or big dick?

For context, I am 4x4 and gay. I have seen a ton of dicks in my life but I have never seen one that was my size, let alone smaller. I know that if I walk into a room, 99.99% times I will be the smallest guy in the room. I also suffer from terrible low self-confidence. But it got me thinking that most guys have a normal dick. Guys like me and my size (and smaller) are really rare. And most guys that I encounter daily- at work, in the gym, my friends come across really confident. It might sound crazy but my conclusion is that having a normal/big dick gives you that innate self-confidence and that idgaf attitude. In my case, no matter what I do or where I am, the thought of me having a small dick and being the smallest in the room is always there in the back of my mind. Sometimes I think about it a lot, sometimes I don't, but it never goes away. It's always there. I am also very shy and timid in real life. I don't speak a lot during work meetings unless really necessary. I also walk with my eyes glued to the ground. I am always scared of saying the wrong thing and hurting people and I always keep apologising. I am scared someone is going to find out that I have a small dick. I guess people can already tell that I have a small dick. I always need to take a breath and tell myself to be confident and look confident. I will never experience or know that effortless confidence that comes with having a big dick.

I see dick size as analogous to height. I am 6'2" and tbh, I never think about how tall I am because this is something that I never had to worry about in my life. I know that if I walk into a room, most probably I will be one of the tallest guys there. It does make me feel good but I also never think about it. Now, if I would be a shorter dude like 5'7" , I would definitely be thinking about height as I have some shorter guys at work often bring up height into conversations. Just to be clear, I think height is overrated. I would trade my height and be 5'7" in a heartbeat if I could have like 7x5 inches dick. My height has done nothing for me in my life however if I had a big dick, I would be confident and probably get to hook up a lot and be in relationships- all of which I cannot right now with my small dick.

Anyway, just a rant. All because I saw these couple guys at work being loud and fun and I thought they are definitely packing.