Anyone have ADHD but choose not to take meds?

Just thinking out loud really. Probably more of a rant than a question. I've seen some good ADHD takes here that aren't mindlessly echoing the psychiatric zeitgeist (and don't necessarily fall into dumb knee-jerk anti-psychiatry).

I'm diagnosed with ADHD and think I actually have it. I've second-guessed it a ton, I am quite convinced that it wouldn't exist if we didn't have to spend so much time doing tasks that are so abstract/convoluted/bureaucratic/unengaging. My view at the moment is that some people adapt better than others to these conditions, and those that really struggle need some chemical help.

I've been medicated before and the meds do help me get work done in a far more painless/frictionless way. It does bridge some sort of gap between my own neurobiology and the type of person modern life demands I am.

At the same time though, it doesn't feel good or authentic. They feel like worker bee pills that provide a robotic focus, make me feel less social and more uptight. I'm better adapted to work and similar stuff but I'm less myself.

Working and doing admin shit without them: I'm more myself but all this stuff is far, far more of a drag.

Part of me is tempted to get back on meds and try to lock in and pull myself into a decent career (currently languishing as a low-level IT guy). Even if this works, I don't actually have any interest in this stuff. And what happens when the next shortage hits, and I've gotten myself into a higher-up job but suddenly I can't focus on any of this dry technical stuff, or feign interest in any of the bullshit?

Also I live in the UK and earn under 30k, and the NHS fucked up my Right to Choose referral so I have to pay full private fees for all of the psychiatrist BS, medication costs, etc. I kind of resent paying this much for what are mostly "work pills" when I'm not even well compensated.

Thing is though, if I stay unmedicated, I don't see myself staying the course doing these weird, fake, abstract but stressful white collar jobs.

I also resent potentially becoming dependent on a chemical, having my dopamine receptors downregulated, probably feeling worse than baseline when off the meds, when the benefit is mostly just performing better at stupid jobs.

I could try and find a job in a quiet-ish pub or coffee shop. The money I'd take home on minimum wage isn't that different to what I'd make doing office or low-level IT shit if I deduct the cost of private ADHD treatment, so there's no actual financial argument unless I try to push myself into some kind of higher career. But that would still involve wasting precious moments on this earth studying shit I'm not interested in, and I'd probably burn out before anything comes of it. So maybe just drop out of the screen-based work thing?

I could take meds but only when I'm NOT at work? Just do the bare minimum in this bullshit economy and have the extra focus to learn skills and do projects (or just finally read Hegel properly or some other thing I've never stuck with)?