Has anyone else found oddly illuminating baby photos with their n parent?

So for context my father’s mother really adored me as a child. I was kept away from her (I believe) mostly due to jealousy at how deeply I loved and respected my grandmother. My grandmother gave me a lot of baby photos, some of which have my nmother in them.

In absolutely no photo did my mother touch me. She looked dead inside for most of the photos. I have more of my great grandmother holding me, who wasn’t a kind woman in her own right. Everyone else held me as a baby, especially my grandmother. In situations like Christmas, my mother only looked mildly happy when she was opening a gift for her. There was this photo that was so affectionate of me cuddling into my grandmother and her to me when I was little that really hurt to look at.

It all just sent me through another wave of grief because it feels like my mother stole away what could’ve been a troubled, yet happy childhood. I could see my father’s family loved me so much, especially my grandmother. My mother was a jealous child and isolated me away from absolutely everyone who really loved me . I feel a lot of guilt for believing her when she alienated me from my father, and it feels like I was responsible even though I was small when she took my siblings and I away. I forgot how isolated my siblings and I were from anyone, especially people who would’ve loved us because of my mother’s childish selfishness.