Bassinet feels more unsafe than cosleeping

I'm ashamed to admit I've been co sleeping. I swore I never would and my husband reccomended I look at the safe sleep 7 because we both don't have outside support and we were exhausted. I'm exclusively breastfeeding and one night was particularly hard for me when baby was feeding on and off each hour and I'd have to swaddle him and carry him to the bassinet.

I ended up falling asleep with him in bed and my husband woke up and found us then shook me awake. I felt so bad. I finally decided it might be worth it to do safe co sleep if im going to fall asleep anyway. It's been good so far but I'm still worried about it.

I notice my bassinet has a bedside flap that can go down. I thought maybe this is a good in between. I put the flap down and put it next to the bed but something about it scares me. The fact that if it's level with the bed baby could fall through the gap if the bassinet moves. Yet if the bassinet is lower than the bed couldn't baby suffocate against the edge of my bed? My baby loves to smoosh his face right against the end of the bassinet in the mesh so I'm really worried he would smoosh his face against my bed where there isnt any mesh.

He has never gone far from my boob when we co sleep. I don't know what the safest option is here :( I don't even know if my understanding of how a bedside bassinet works is correct?