Started seeing my brain as different, not difficult - everything shifted
Spent years trying to force my square-peg brain into round-hole systems. Taking notes "the right way." Working at "normal" hours. Forcing myself to make eye contact when it felt like sensory overload.
Then last week, reorganized my entire workspace by color instead of alphabet. My coworker called it weird. But for the first time, I could find everything instantly.
Hit me like a wave: My brain's not broken - it's running on a different operating system. It's not that I can't focus - I focus differently. Not that I can't connect - I connect differently.
Started working with my brain instead of against it:
- Noise-canceling headphones aren't a crutch, they're my productivity tool
- Stimming isn't embarrassing, it's my way of processing
- My pattern-seeing isn't overthinking, it's my superpower
Still navigate a world built for different brains. But now I know - the goal isn't to become "normal." It's to become more authentically myself.
Turns out I wasn't difficult. I was just different in a world that expected sameness.