Identity

To me, one of the most difficult parts about quitting is the loss of my “higher self” (pun intended). When I’m stoned, I am the more open-minded, nonjudgmental, happy, light, forgiving, creative, open, curious, present (though not always) version of myself than I am sober. I'm a better partner and friend. It’s an identity that is very important to me, and these are moments of pure joy, but I think it’s getting harder and harder for me to conjure that self/state when I’m not high. My depression (and suspected PMDD) gets in the way, along with stress. I’m sure there’s a pattern of reliance going on here that I'd like to break. I guess what I’m trying to do is integrate? wondered if anyone else feels this way and/or has found helpful tips for being genuinely happy when sober, basically. Reflective journalling is one thing that does seem to help