Post Wedding Advice

Hi All!

We just got married this past Friday and the in-laws exhibited some pretty rude behavior and I am not sure how to deal with it.

My now BIL and SIL were nothing but rude to both my husband and I the entire weekend. For their entire stay, not once did they say anything to me, no "hello", "congratulations", nothing. During the reception we had a few birthdays and acknowledged each of them with a cupcake and song to show appreciation for our guests who took time out of their birthdays for our wedding, everyone but SIL acknowledged that you received it by thanking us at some point during the wedding. I still don't know if she enjoyed it. We received equally appalling behavior from BIL, insisting on making an issue out of us not allowing the chicken dance to be played at OUR wedding. It was brought up no less than 5 times throughout the night, and when he still didn't get his way, he decided to try to get others to do the dance anyway. This was not his wedding, and he tried to make it something of his own. For context he's 50 and a narcissist.

It doesn't end there. The whole family (MIL, FIL, 1 SIL and 2 BILs AND their respective spouses) took pictures all night with the groom at our photo wall and never once asked me the join in. I tried to not let it bother me but I had multiple guests come up to me and ask why I wasn't included. I have no idea why and it was embarrassing.

We paid for an after party which they all attended and not once was I acknowledged. I even had to stand for most of it because there weren't enough seats for everyone in the room we booked. We even paid for extra time because everyone was having fun and didn't want to leave.

No one but my MIL and FIL welcomed me into the family and I'm at the point now where I don't want to visit them for holidays. I'm ok with my husband going without me but he's adamant that he doesn't want to do that.

I have addressed their behavior it in the past and all it does is make things worse and they blame me for whatever the communication issue with them is. They tell me that I have to be more outgoing and "force" myself into conversations. 1. That is not my personality as I am more reserved and 2. Why would I force myself to talk to a group that clearly has a problem with me where I don't even know what the problem is?

My question is do I keep my mouth shut and continue to be the good wife while going to events and holidays or do I actually start calling them out for their behavior and cause more problems? The wedding really bothered me and now I married into this family.

Any and all suggestions are welcome! TY!