Tested HIV positive recently

I'm a 30-year-old Brazilian (M) living in Portugal. On 4th Feb., I tested positive at an NGO and they took my blood for confirmation. Some days later, I bought a rapid test at a drugstore and it came back positive too. :( I'm panicking and so scared and lost. I've been crying a lot.

Back in November, I felt so sick and weak, with a high fever. I had a severe pharyngitis-like infection with red rash on my body. I thought it was normal as I have pharyngitis, tonsillitis and whatnot for years (HIV negative at the time), except for the body rash. I finally decided to have the test, and my world fell apart. The confirmation test takes 2 weeks to be available, which was done via public healthcare. In a month, I have an Infectiologist appointment and I think I'll get the meds and start the treatment.

It's been tough to cope with it. So much fear and self-guilt. I've been losing my mind. I got down on my knees at the church and burst into tears, although I'm not a religious person myself. I kept saying I'm sorry to myself and to God in heaven.

I know that here in the EU they have the injection treatment available, instead of taking the pills. I guess it takes a while for a patient to get the injection and needs first to take the daily pills.