[DAV Spoilers All] Emmrich's romance and why it's important to me

Full disclosure, when I first saw the announcement trailer for this game and saw Emmrich, the very first thing I thought was "I hope we can romance him," and I leapt for joy when I found out that we could. I had since been locked in since day one, I would smooch that old man come hell or high water.

This is the first game in the series where we have the option to romance an explicitly older character, older by what's assumed to be at least 20 years (Rook is probably no older than 35 and Emmrich is definitely at least in his fifties). I had a few lingering questions on my mind about whether the game would address this age difference or if it would go the route of indulgent wish fulfilment, and I was sort of slack-jawed when I realized it was going the route of the former.

Because when you first start flirting with Emmrich, he doesn't fully grasp what's happening. Then at some point, he does, and he goes along with it. Then he starts jokingly talking about how much fun he's having adventuring with a "handsome young man who's taken an interest in him" and then bam, now there's an acknowledgment of chemistry and a sense of "oh what do we do now?"

And then your companions comment on the romance once it officially begins. Harding questions Emmerich's motives. Davrin is concerned we might not be thinking about this fully and jumping into something too quickly. Hezenkoss taunts Emmrich stating she has no idea how he managed to get a young paramour at his age. Emmrich's age compared to Rook is the first thing everyone comments on.

And yeah, as someone who has dated people in a similar age bracket in my twenties, that's true to life! Sometimes you just chase the chemistry and dive in without fully realizing how such a relationship might look to the people around you, but its fine because its love, right?

Emmrich is terrified of dying. He admits in your dinner date with him that he is incredibly flattered by the idea that a young person is genuinely interested in him, almost like it makes him feel younger, like he doesn't have to worry about confronting his mortality quite yet.

But then the night before going to fight Ghilan'nain, the reality of the situation sets in and Emmrich talks to you about the relationship, about how even in the best of circumstances, Rook is going to outlive him by quite some time and they need to really think about what they're doing.

And yeah, I've had this exact conversation with a partner before, and it ended in a similar argument to the one Rook and Emmerich have. Even if both parties have the purest of intentions there are all sorts of factors to consider if such a relationship is going to be long-term: how will you handle family introductions? Is the younger person prepared to take care of a sick or elderly spouse in their 40s and 50s? If children are on the table, how is the age difference going to affect childrearing when the parents are already a generation apart?

For some couples (and in the case of Rook and Emmrich), they can work it out, but for a lot of people (including myself) those considerations can bring people back to reality and make them realize that maybe they aren't prepared for that kind of relationship and that its for the best to end things or keep it short term.

The whole time I did Emmrich's romance, I just kept thinking back to the conversations I'd had with a previous older partner, to the comments my friends and family would make when they learned I was dating someone that old, and how it ultimately wasn't the right choice for me personally but it was still a nice relationship while it lasted.

It's something I wasn't expecting from BioWare, and I'm super impressed they managed to tell a decent romance about a significant age gap with surprisingly realistic dialogue and banter about it! It was true to my personal experience and I'm glad the two ended up together in the end