OH MY FUCKING GOD

OH MY FUCKING GOD 🤯💀 I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE MYSELF RIGHT NOW. I JUST ATE 478 BAGS OF CHIPS 🍟💥, DRANK A LITERAL OCEAN OF SODA 🥤🌊, AND I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHO I AM ANYMORE 🤪🤪🤪. I WATCHED 1000 FUCKING HOURS OF THAT DUMBASS SHOW 📺 AND CRIED LIKE A BABY 😭😭😭, LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!! 😵💔 I’M LITERALLY A WALKING FUCKING DISASTER AND I LOVE IT. I’M SCREAMING, BUT I’M ALSO LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY 🤣🤡💯.

MY CAT JUST SHIT IN MY FUCKING SHOE 👟💩 AND I LITERALLY DIDN’T EVEN CLEAN IT UP, JUST PUT IT BACK ON LIKE “YEP, THIS IS MY LIFE NOW” 💀👀. NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE 🤯, BUT AT LEAST I’M ALIVE? I GUESS? 😜

I’M LIVING OFF NOTHING BUT PIZZA ROLLS AND NACHO CHEESE 🧀🍕 AND I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. DON’T EVEN FUCKING MENTION VEGGIES, I’M NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT THAT 😩🍟. SEND ME MORE CHEESE OR I’M GONNA LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND 🧀🔥!!! MY PHONE IS A PIECE OF SHIT WITH A BATTERY THAT DIES FASTER THAN MY SOUL 📱⚡ BUT I’M STILL ADDICTED TO IT LIKE A GODDAMN IDIOT 🤪. WHAT THE FUCK IS LIFE, WHY DO I STILL CARE??! 😱😭

I’M ALREADY PLANNING MY NEXT GOONER SESSION AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS FUCKING CHAOS 🌀🔥💀🍆. SOMEONE PLEASE SEND HELP OR JUST SEND MORE PIZZA ROLLS 🍕🍕🍕.