Asking for guidance (this post is a downer & cautionary tale)

Hi guys!

I’m a 25F , and am a teachers aide in Bergen county. My dad, 60M, was made aware by his company that he is no longer needed for their services (he works in IT).

I found this out along with the fact that he has almost $40k in debt (IRS, Chase home loan from before him and my mom divorced, credit card debt, and maybe something shady he’s not telling me about, honestly I don’t know at this point). I estimated that his monthly debt payments alone were literally about $1700. On a salary of $21 an hour with a 40 hour work week, + child support… you do the math. He also has no retirement, no savings, no anything. He spent his entire severance package from his previous job, on repairing his USED car that was damaged during a storm in our town. To say the least, he’s made really fucking dumb financial decisions.

Before I knew about the debt, I began helping by paying the gas and electric but I know on my salary I will not be able to make rent ($1795 a month not including gas and electric). For February we’ll be ok, as I have some savings to help us out, but after that, it’s looking pretty grim.

My dad is depressed and getting up there in age.

I have no idea what to do. We grew up comfortable. I played private sports, went to private school, we always had food in the fridge. I’m currently going back to school for a degree in accounting (I have very little student debt (<$2k) and no credit card debt.

I guess the long and the short of it is, besides picking up extra shifts and getting a second job and trying to motivate him to get a new job, what can we do?

Are there any resources that would be able to go through during just the month of February?

I’m not looking for handouts or pity. This is mostly a post searching for help and to also just confess what’s been going on. I feel so embarrassed, ashamed, overwhelmed and angry.

Edit: I forgot what I titled this. It’s weird to think that in comfortable Bergen county, your neighbor could be scraping by to make ends meet, but it happens. I hope reading this, you guys feel inspired to stick to your monthly budget you’ve made lol. We all get old some day, and it’s important to prepare. Speaking from the youngish perspective of someone who is in the position of possibly having to take care of their aging parent : parents, please be better than my dad in terms of finances. The last 2 days have been probably the worst of my life, and instilled a sense of dread I didn’t know was possible (new achievement unlocked LMAO). Thanks for listening