Best benzo on methadone

I do consider myself to be in recovery , I take 203 mg of methadone daily. About 6 months ago I started getting prescriptions Xanax 60 1 mg a month. I haven't been having much luck with it . It has to do with the mixing of the methadone. Like this last month I got filled I said ok 1 pill , the next day I was walking around my neighborhood with a dirty 100$ bill and a missing bottle of xanax.with Xanax being like the strongest I was going to ask for something like valium this time. I know I should not partake but they due serve a purpose