Feeling Like a Complete Failure Socially

I feel like a complete failure socially. I’ve learned that I must separate work life and personal life. Relationships must be pre-defined from the start of the relationship and they can’t really change. For example I can’t be friends with co-workers or my boss. I need friends to stay friends and if I date meet people on dating apps and specific events that way the intention is clear.

The situation I’ve had was with someone whom I did work for and we were friends. The professional and personal lines were blurred. They told me they need space and probably will for 1-2 months and that went by. I messed up boundaries a lot by reaching out. For context I had feelings for them. We are now strictly professional and I’m stepping back from that community.

I feel like a failure because I failed to respect their boundaries and interpret everything wrong. I struggle with social cues, am constantly bombarded with them and struggle to interpret all of the input.

How do you deal with interpreting the things people say while trying to determine their intentions and making sense of their nonverbal cues?

I’m struggling because I still live at home, am about to graduate, and can’t afford to move away. I feel stuck and isolated. I don’t know how I’ll be able to afford to move out and family isn’t supportive.

How would you recommend to approach that situation within the context of having community and social relationships?

How do you stop feeling like a failure and a bad person for struggling to respect boundaries while messing up? Normally, I’m fine. It’s just this one person. I feel like I need to completely distance myself or I won’t be able to respect their boundaries. It’s my all-or-nothing mindset.

Sorry for being all over the place. My mind, life, and all are utter chaos right now.

Thank you for reading this. I would love to hear your experiences and how you dealt with everything.