Idk if I'm actually ace. . .

I'm pretty sure I'm ace but I doubt it from time to time. Like I never even thought about sex until after graduating college. It just never really occured to me despite all my friends indulging. Even when I was dating sex would always be a bit too much for me to participate in. It was never something I'd seek out and definitely not my top priority in a relationship. That being said I do enjoy it and sometimes fantasize about it. It can feel really good sometimes. Sometimes it feels like I'm all about sex except actually doing it. Like it can be too much and almost overwhelming at times. I'm also very sex repulsed. I find the human reproduction system to be absolutely appauling. Also cum is just not my thing. And just the thought of sex organs being inserted into my own just sounds absolutely disgusting. It's so weird to me though because I do get horny, love how sex feels, fantasize about sex but am hesitant to engage in it. Idk what the fuck I am at this point. It makes me feel fucking bipolar sometimes. I hate that I'm giving my bf mixed signals too. He definitely hints and nudges me to have sex with him and I really want to but I just have this mental block where it's just a bit too uncomfortable to actually engage in. I'm wondering if anyone else shares these awkward expiriences or if there's just something wrong with me because I don't fucking know anymore.