Recently lost a close friend who I played Apex with

For a while now, I had one friend who I played Apex with. He was a big fan of the game, had heirlooms, tons of hours, and basically the one person keeping me somewhat interested in the game. Even as I fell out of the game in the past year, if there was something that peaked my interest, he's the one I would ring up to run Duos with. He was a rager, and whenever we lost and he'd get mad at something I'd just act real dignified and calm, and that would just piss him off more, which was always really fun. I made fun of him for buying the Seer Heirloom, despite never really playing Seer. He always greeted me with a downright offensive Indian accent and would say "nooooo" really stretched out in it. I would back him down from buying more cosmetics, because he already had an entire wardrobe. He was always "The Apex Guy."

But recently, he was involved in a bad car accident and has passed. This is the first time I've really had to experience this kind of loss in my life. Now, even seeing the game at all makes me feel a little sick. I've just hardwired this association in my brain, that seeing a post or video about Apex reminds me he's gone. I'm stepping back from Apex somewhat permanently until I can come to terms with this. I've put a ton of hours into this game, and while it is downright laughably incompetent and infuriating sometimes, and I've taken several breaks, it always found a way to pull me back. But not anymore. Not without him.

Realtaxiride is no longer going to be online anymore. And Apex is just going to act as a reminder of that. This post might seem a little self-indulgent and might even get taken down, but I need this closure.