Weight loss and infidelity

My husband (43M) had an affair which began after I (34F) started Zepbound and began to lose weight.

For years, since probably 2018 my husband has told me I need to lose weight. It made me incredibly insecure and my self esteem suffered. Then when I got pregnant in 2021, I gained nearly 70 lbs, making me 296. I worked hard to lose weight but got stuck around 230lbs.

My husband went out of his way to comment on my weight and how disappointed he was and that no matter how I did my makeup or hair, I wouldn’t look good until I was skinny. He always made it a point to follow up these insults with the line, “I just want you to be happy and healthy and I think that will be the case when you lose weight.” I really believed I was ruining our marriage because of my binge eating disorder and depression. I thought that if I could just lost the weight and be healthy, our relationship would improve.

Then in August of 2024 I got prescribed Zepbound for weight loss and managing my PCOS and fibromyalgia. I began to lose weight by the second week. But as the scale went down, my marriage deteriorated further. My husband began to disappear and became increasingly distant. As the weight just fell off of me, I started to want to be more intimate because I finally felt sexy again. Not only did I lose weight, but I regained my sense of self and independence. Zepbound completely changed my life. I was finally becoming happy and healthy, which I thought my husband would be overjoyed about. But I knew deep down there was something more going on. He became meaner and bitter and took shots at me in new ways.

Then 3 days before Christmas he told me had had a 3 month long affair. He had been sleeping with someone else the whole time I had been losing weight and finally getting better. It shocked me but didn’t surprise me because of how he had been acting for months. It sent me into a spiral that luckily I quickly recovered from. We decided to try to make things work and stay together for our son.

I have lost another 18lbs since that day and I’m now 165. I haven’t weighed this little since 2016. I am only 35 lbs from my goal weight. I feel amazing and more like myself everyday. But now our sex life has come to a screeching halt. He was still having sex with me when the affair was going on but now he is never in the mood. I am so hurt from what he has put me through but I still wanted to be intimate and feel desired. I feel so confident and sexy and I just want him to celebrate that and enjoy it with me. But the more weight I lose, the more our marriage disintegrates. I don’t understand it. I thought everything would be so much better once I was skinny. But my whole life is blowing up.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has had something similar happen after starting a GLP-1 or major weight loss. Im starting to think my husband is either incredibly insecure or just a flat out narcissist.

Right now I am planning on leaving him. But I do need his insurance to continue getting my Zepbound covered. I’m hoping to hit my goal weight in the next few months and then switch to compound so I can afford maintenance dose without insurance. That’s my plan for now. Plus I need to figure out a ton of other details before I file. But I never thought this would be the outcome after I lost weight.