i hate being asian/indian

i am half indian and half vietnamese. i live in canada. this sounds like good to most people but honestly the situation here is just bloody fucking ridiculous. because of my asian side i manage to get away, but there is such disgusting amounts of racism in this country against indian people. there are literal street attacks on them everywhere, they are blamed for all the crime, literlaly every economic issue, all failing of this country are somehow indian's fault. indians also don't wear deodorant, are unattractive, and all love white people, hate palestine, love israel and russia, are all backwater conservative savages who eat cow shit according to like all of reddit and instagram

and this isn't like a social media phenomenon like holy shit this has spilled so far into real life, every indian ik hates thesmelves for it. ppl will say this shit straight up to your face irl too.

like i said i get away nicely because i don't really look indian, i look kinda thai, and apparently white people love them for some reason. i think everyone is so aware of asian fetishism now, so i'm not really going to discuss it i associate myself way more with my indian side bc my viet mother grew up in canada, whereas my dad is straight from india so i got more of that side.

so i feel a bit of guilt honestly for just watching the people who i consider the same as me suffer while i just kind of stand on the sidelines, and instead white people tend to accept me until they here my last name. my irl name is maya, which i have been named for it's indian meaning (similar to magic) but people just think that i'm some basic great value brand asian and don't think twice about it.

and then there's the pressure. i feel like as a minority in this country i need to actually change the perception of our people. i wanna work hard and show everyone what we're capable of. but sometimes i just wish i could be born white and just live normally man, i hate this stupid shit and it gives me like no benefits. plus asian parents, also a stereotype everyone's familiar with.