Geriatric Rotation Tips

Hi all. I'm currently in my 4th out of 6 semester of nursing school and I'm seeking advice. I recently started my geriatrics rotation and I'll admit I wasn't too excited since l've only ever really dealt with geriatrics patients except during my OBS rotation. My teacher is super nice and approachable and I've spoken to her about this but I feel like it wasn't "enough" for me.

I was given a patient with dementia and she was rather difficult. Started the day off with saying things like wanting to go home, not wanting to be here etc. which is all very understandable. She then proceeded to say "I want to shoot my head off" so I tried to change the topic and eventually asked her if she has any kids to which she answered "I hope not or else l'd cut their heads off". Safe to say I took her vitals and left her to sleep a bit more cause I was shocked! I've just never really experienced dementia before. I documented the encounter and went on with my day.

I went back to visit her to talk and she invited me to sit with her, which I did. We talked and what she was saying wasn't really coherent (which is to be expected, I guess) so l asked about hobbies, let her talk for a while, asked what she did for work, etc. even though I don't really know if what she's telling me is real. She then got really agitated, started yelling at me, "why are you asking all these questions?! Doing psychology on me? I want you to take a gun and shoot me in the head!" and asked to be left alone, which I respected.

Not gonna lie I wanted to cry... seeing what this disease does to people is absolutely horrifying.... what if it happens to me? Or my parents? Or my grandparents? I spoke with my teacher who said that she will change my patient for next week and I cried in front of her I just feel so bad for my patient and I don't know how to cope. I’m feeling really depressed and not looking forward to going to clinical, especially since this semesters focus is building a therapeutic relationship and communication…

TIA