How to spot a narc mom?

Growing up, I adored my mother. Everything she said, I followed. I never did anything that I knew she would disapprove of. I even broke off friendships and relationships because my mom "saw something" (her words) in them that she didn't like...

As I grew older though (I'm 25 now), I realized that she isn't mentally healthy. She grew up in a poor broken family and fought her way to marry well and give a comfortable life to her children. I recognized that she has a very avoidant way of dealing with anger. When she's mad at you, she won't tell you why. She will just shut down and not speak to you for a long long time until you apologize, or she finally yells at you or you just wake up one day and she's completely normal again. Over the years, I've adopted this too. This was how I treated my friends as well. Until I met my boyfriend and I learned what healthy communication is.

My mom is also very controlling with everything in my life. I didn't know this for the longest time but every decision I made, the most important thing i considered is "what will my mom think of this?". Like I said, I left people for her. Whenever I would do something I knew she wouldn't approve of, even if it wasn't wrong or wouldn't hurt anyone and even if it was what I actually wanted; I'd feel so so guilty about it.

Recently, she's been very controlling of my relationship. My boyfriend asked her and my dad for their blessing to propose. She grilled him and asked him many private questions about us (stuff that in my opinion, should only be discussed between couples). Eventually she said yes. But I think it was unnecessary for her to do that to him. I think it's less about my boyfriend but she'd do the same with whomever I was dating.

Anyways at the top of my head, these are the things that make me think she's a narc. What do you guys think? Any advice? Thank you so much!