Should I Leave my Husband?

Hi. My husband and I recently had our Wedding in August 2024. I was not ready to get married as we had been having problems well before our Wedding - however due to family health issues I was pushed to get married and put my feelings aside to follow through with this.

I have being trying my best to be a good wife in every way possible yet my husband is addicted to porn and while I was at the hospital taking care of my sick family member, he was texting another woman and asking her to come to our apartment the following weekend as he knew I was going to be out of town.

I have been praying constantly - asking God to give me a sign that he is my person. I have cried plenty of tears and have dealt with years of gaslighting and manipulation. I am depressed and often think about the life I am living and if this is how God had planned for it to be. We had dated for 3 years prior to marriage and we officially hit 4 years in October.

I had an intuition he was doing things behind my back as he has been acting very weird around his phone - always making sure he has it and never leaving it anywhere. He also never lets me hold his phone. I finally got a hold of it yesterday night and went through his messages - which im not sure if he cleared out or not. However, I went through his instagram which he has put a face ID password on but I guess he didn't know that you can bypass that with the real phone password. Anyways, I opened his messages I find that he is messaging another woman asking her when she will be in our city and if she would like to "hang out" Another thing to note, this woman is not his friend. I am heartbroken and addressed this and have decided I cannot live like this anymore. When I brought it up he first lied to me and tried to deflect the conversation - asking why I was going through his phone. I told him as his wife, I have the ability to go through his phone whenever as so does he. He apologized and has promised this will never happened again.

Our intmacy is also non existent as he is addicted to watching women online which I have addressed before and he has promised me he would no longer do this. Yet, I found him watching women in his Browser history. We have sex probably one to twice a month and he never responds when I intiate. It's extemely selfish as he is only in the mood when he wants to intiate sex which sometimes is in the middle of night. He also is super aggressive at times and is horrible at foreplay (which honestly was never an issue before - we always had good sex) but now it seems as if the things he is watching has made him become insensitive to my feelings.

A few weeks ago we got into a really heated argument where he grabbed my arm to grab the flowers I was cutting to put in a vase - and he aggressively pushed me to throw them in the garbage. My instincts got a hold of me and I hit him in the back with a flower stem. I have never done anything like this before and there is no excuse for this - I apologized and we talked it through after a week or so of not speaking with one another although we live in the same apartment.

I have cried endlessly to him about how I feel alone, unloved and uncared for. He never buys me flowers, he often sleeps on the couch until 2am and comes to bed at night and is on his phone until 4am. He is addicted to sports betting and is continously watching something and rarely pays attention to me. I have asked him over and over again to change his behavior but he takes 1 stop forward and 100 steps back.

He asks me continuously to keep things between me and him and not get my family involved but I am tired of going through this alone. I would like to tell my mother but I don't want to stress her out.

Is this grounds to leave my husband? What should I do? Should I take his word and try to work things out? Or should I take this as my final straw? I am exhausted truly.