I am so fucking lonely

I have no one. Bachpan se mere bhot dost nhi bane but I won't go into my childhood trauma.

I am so fucking lonely. I don't get any hugs. I never have in my life. I want someone to hold my hand and hug me and let me cry. I am so lonely and depressed and I don't know how to talk to people in real life.

I have no one I can freely share my problems with because I am so scared. I think pain of loneliness is easier to handle than the pain of people leaving you and heartbreak both of which I have been through.

I have no one. My mental health is so shit. I am a dropper and I am so fucking depressed. I wish I was dead. I can't take this anymore. My heart is dead I am not strong enough to do this anymore. I pray I get hit by a car everytime I cross the road. I am a fucking failure and I have done nothing meaningful in the 18 years I have been alive. I wish there isn't a 19th. Goodnight.