I failed Z

Hi To be honest I’m not sure it’s even a good idea to make this post and as I am totally out of it as I type this.

Today was the day we were going to move Z, I’ll be honest I couldn’t sleep all night thinking about it but during the day I made sure to move almost all of his things from the basement to the office. I was kind of excited.

I didn’t mention this previously but I have him 50 mg of Gabapentin to calm him down and waited a few hours, my mother didn’t really want to help me and made many comments regarding how dumb this is.

He was sitting in his tree and she held the carrier and I tried to grab him gently but he got scared and began darting everywhere and he was so scared but I still tried to capture him but I couldn’t do it and began crying while my mother yelled at me at how delusional I was to think that I could move him and that this was a stupid idea and he will never adapt. Now he’s hiding and terrified and I can’t stop crying because I don’t know what to do. She said all of the non kill shelters won’t except him because he has FIV. I can’t stop crying because I ruined that connection we had and he probably will never tolerate me again. I don’t know what to do.

I might just have to give up I’m sorry guys