I have to vent and no subreddit allows me because of karma or shitty mods

I'm genuinely utterly and royally fucked.

One of my friends decided it would be really funny to repeatedly google ISIS's website just to see what would happen. We all told him it was a horrible idea but he got hooked to it. He's been arrested by our equivalent of the FBI. It's been 6 months since it happened and I've been living in fear knowing that any day they could just bust down my door and take me in too. I'm not a terrorist. I'm not Muslim. I don't want to harm anyone. I'm not built for prison or for being tough at all. I'm a fucking softie. I can't stand the fucking pressure. Last week I lost another dear friend to them. They took all his shit. I know they monitor me, I know they can read this post but I don't care anymore. I wish none of this ever happened. I wish I never met him. I'm in tears fucking typing this. I'm so fucking done with it all. School's stressing me the fuck out, cops could arrest me whenever the fuck they want, literal earthquakes happening all day everyday shaking the entire building, I live in a shitty ass city in a shitty ass neighborhood, I keep getting judged...

I'm so done. I just want a break. A happy break. I wish I didn't have to live in this reality just for a day. Nicotine doesn't cut it anymore. I can't stand the thought of another day.

Please I need someone to talk to. Please. My head hurts. Can't think. Too many things happening.

I don't want to lose my ability to live a normal life to some fucking bullshit my friend did.

I want to be successful. I want the nice job I'm studying for. I'm not a criminal.

I can't take it anymore.