After 14yrs, she admits she isn't attracted to me and wants to be with a man... But doesn't want divorce??

I am confused and devastated. I built my entire life on a lie, and now everything is falling apart like a Jenga tower. My wife (32f) and I (32f) met in high school. We've been together since Senior prom. We have two kids and I provide childcare out of the home so I can stay home with the kids while my wife is the primary income earner.

We have had issues in the past with her flirting around, but I really wanted to work past it. Not to make excuses, but she has her own demons and acts recklessly from time to time. But this... This I cannot overlook. She actually slept with him this time. She used her father's house to hook up, and her father helped to cover for her. I am disgusted! She went out, had sex with this guy, and came home to kiss me and our children! What could she have exposed me to?? How was it so easy for her to lie to my face??

In the midst of the following arguments and confrontations, she admits that she has never been attracted to me. What a kick in the teeth. She finally admits she isn't actually gay, and while she likes women she still prefers men. After 14 fucking years... How could you lie like this for 14 years?!? Now I keep looking back and seeing red flags I should have paid attention to before.

I feel like such an unwanted, stupid loser. I loved her so much I was willing to overlook the pain and doubt... And now everything is ruined. Our family is ruined. My life is an utter waste.