Why Does my Christian husband feel grossed out?

My husband (M 30) gets upset when I ask for him to touch me seggsually. He gets mad and tells me it’s a selfish demand to ask him to touch me down there before or after sex. He said that it makes him feel like he’s not enough. We’ve been married for 11 years and have kids! He knows I can’t get O without external stimulation. Honestly I’m not even asking for that, just to be touched and enjoyed in more places than just the boobs. I’m not asking for oral because he’s got a texture thing and he’s tried me and I’m not his flavor lol I explained that touching doesn’t mean I want to “O”, it’s just helping me get turned on and making things slippery. I’ll move his hand lower and he’ll hold it there and then pull it away. I told him it makes me feel like he thinks I’m gross. I take care of myself and keep things clean.

I asked him why he gets so upset and he said it makes him feel like he isn’t enough and he likes to be in control so he’s on top or doggy style. He doesn’t even prefer me giving him oral. He’s not sleeping around or anything (already had the convo) TL;DR what makes a guy feel like this?