Does anyone else struggle to fall asleep next to someone?

I've always struggled the first 3-4 months with someone in terms of falling asleep next to them. I just figured that was normal but usually none of my partners struggled to do it.

I think I realised why today when I was struggling to nap with my current partner. My body was feeling anxious as always but I realised as I focused on their breathing I was really checking if they were still asleep.

I did this all night without waking following an SA incident when I was 17 at a house party. The guy slept next to me after I eventually got him to stop touching me - I didn't relax at all that night.

I've never made this connection before and now idk what to do next. I'm in group therapy so I'll bring it up next session - but once again past incidents in my life where people just took from me is fucking with my present.

I don't want to feel unsafe just trying to fall asleep with the person I'm with. A person who is nothing but kind and patient, and honestly the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.