what is wrong with me

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. In the beginning, he was my fp, and I was completely obsessed with him in a way that felt intense and all-consuming—like typical bpd behavior. We got together after only a month and moved in together just two weeks later. Up until recently, everything seemed fine.

But in the past week, it’s like a switch has flipped inside me. I feel like I’m not in love anymore. I’m bored. I crave excitement, thrill, and new beginnings. What’s even more confusing is that this exact same thing happened in my last relationship: I was over the moon in the beginning, but as soon as the honeymoon phase ended, I couldn’t stand the person anymore—even though I still loved them.

Right now, I feel like I’m going crazy. Is this normal? Up until now, I’ve required so much validation and have been so scared of him leaving me or cheating on me. And he’s truly the kindest soul—the most supportive, loving person I’ve ever known. It breaks my heart that I’m now in a place where I don’t even know if I want to be with him anymore.

I hate talking about my feelings. I avoid it at all costs because I hate hurting people. I’m such a people-pleaser, but this bored, empty, and resistant feeling inside me is overwhelming.

Will it go away? Or is this just how things are going to be for me in relationships?