Most of my friends forgot my birthday.

Unfortunately, I turned 20 on Wednesday— an age I thought I’d never reach much less want to celebrate reaching. I’m a second year in college with a friend group of about 9 people my age. Of the nine, only 3 remembered my birthday unprompted. The others began to trickle in after I asked the one why the others hadn’t remembered. Apparently, despite knowing me since fall of last year no one could remember what date my birthday was. That’s fine, I guess. I’m not entitled to well wishes; but our friend group celebrates every birthday, whether it be through a dinner or little get together or even just a cake. So I’ve waited, waited more, until I finally bit the bullet and asked one of them if they had anything planned. They responded no— everyone was just too busy.

Keep in mind that this is a friend group that has held multiple birthday dinners during finals season throughout various semesters. I know this sounds petty and childish and all around bratty, but I just can’t stop crying. I feel like a kid again, being made fun of and forgotten until it’s convenient to be included. I’m better off financially than most of my friends so I’m oftentimes taking on a lot of the party planning and financing and gift buying just to see them smile. Am I crazy for wanting that for once?