6 years and still searching

Here from a throwaway account.

36M here from Mumbai, slowly worried about unwillingly turning into Selmon-bhai. I officially joined the arranged marriage scene at 30 after a failed first relationship (caste issue—her parents wouldn’t approve). Despite having chill, no-nonsense parents, a well-paying job (finally), above-average looks, good health, a loving nature, and plenty of hobbies I’m decent at, plus no dowry demands... here I am, still searching!

My expectations (at least what I think) are simple: I want a partner who is kind, industrious, and emotionally intelligent. It doesn’t matter if she earns more or less than me. I just want a harmonious life where we support each other.

So far I’ve had 5 serious prospects with mutual attraction, from roughly 80-100 interests (mix of a few genuine and many window shoppers). But I’ve realized it’s not just about two people wanting to be together, there are many other variables at play.

• Two rejected me because their parents found my house and salary “insufficient.”
• One turned out to be a reverse dowry case I noped out of immediately.
• Then came the pandemic—two freaking years wasted.
• Another was from a different caste, and her parents were unsure because there was no common link.
• The closest I got was with my maami’s sister’s daughter. But her father hated my maami’s family and didn’t want any association, so that fell apart too.

And just like that, I’m 36 now. I’m currently on Bumble and JS, but dating feels really hard. I get matches on Bumble but conversations often stall or I have to keep following up, which feels humiliating. Not that I have not found dates, they too have stalled because either dates would want to rush into marriage or haven't moved on from their past. On JS, it’s even bleaker as matches are rare, and when they do happen, it’s often the girl’s parents pushing it and then you find the girl is barely interested. I genuinely don’t know what’s going on.

For anyone here 35+, did you manage to find someone nice? My social circle is basically non-existent now almost everyone’s married, and my parents are getting older. I’m starting to worry about life beyond them. If you have a support system, be really, really grateful.

TL;DR: 36M struggling in the AM and dating scene for 6 years despite decent looks, a stable job, and simple expectations (kind, industrious, emotionally intelligent partner). Feeling isolated and life feels tougher with aging parents and no partner. Anyone else in their mid-30s have success stories?