I need parental approval (or have to have discussions with them) for everything I do.

I've made so many different posts about this, I'm just venting again, but my parents are insanely overbearing and I can't take living at home with them but I cannot afford moving out. it's long sorry

Im f19 and I have a stay at home job that they also work at. I legitimately sit in my room all day and do nothing but work in my bed and go to sleep. I have no friends, I don't do anything unless they force me to go somewhere, my can feel my mind depleting lmao. I don't leave the house because every single action I do has to, in a way, be okayed by them. They tell me that's not true but it really is. They've told me that they want me to go out and get friends but that they don't trust in my ability to drive. So now, I don't drive or go anywhere, so I don't have to hear about "well was your driving good, or which roads did you take" (I have life360 anyways, which they downloaded without asking me after taking my phone at 18). If I were to just get in the car and go today, I would come back and have to deal with an entorage of questions about where I was or why I went. I've NEVER been able to just go do my own thing. It always either has to be approved, or I have to deal with the disapproval, OR, even if its a neutral thing, I still have to go into explicit detail to what I did.

Even when my mom sees me typing on the phone it's always "who are you texting" why does it matter??? Why do you have to know? Ofc if just say "a friend" (don't have those so they wouldn't buy it), or if I politely say it's none of your business it ALWAYS turns into something and causes a huge argument and I'm just tired of it. I know it seems like I am complaining about absolutley nothing but when every single thing you do has to be talked about and you have no privacy even towards the most basic decisions, its too much. I used to have an online friend who I would talk to all the time but, my mom especially, would listen in on what I was saying to them through my door or the walls and it got to the point where the friendship dwindled because I couldn't even be on the phone anymore without her having something to say about it, The last time I was on the phone with my friend was about 2 years ago. Parents heard me talking in my room and they came in, made me hang up, and tell them what I was talking about. I don't understand why it matters so much.

I'm not and never have been a bad kid, I don't party or do drugs, the worst thing I've done was date a boy they had known for 17 years anyways, and I hid it from them because I just wanted something to myself. I don't know why I can't just have parts of me or my life that get to be my own. Because of this I just don't have a life at all. I run a advocacy group on social for victims of child sexual abuse such as myself. I am getting asked to go on podcasts and my goal is to speak at colleges but I keep having to turn down podcast opportunities because my parents listen to what I do in my room, and I've already mentioned, I can't leave without them asking. I can't even have my door closed without them asking what I am doing in here. I don't want them knowing about this because I don't want them finding my social media, seeing the reels I make, and giving me a spiel about how I shouldn't post myself online or "showing your face online is because you are insecure and want approval from others." Even if they have no problems with it, they are masters at budding in with their opinions especially when I don't want it. I don't know how to make sure this huge part of my life stays away from them, especially if I still work with them at this job which I have really no good reason to quit. Everything I do I have to think out like 10 steps to see if I can actually do it or am I gonna cause some strife in the home simply for not wanting to share someting about me.

The other day we were all in the car and i had had a super long day and for whatever reason I was super car sick and seriously about to puke. I was typing something on my phone and she's like "what are you doing, who are you texting." Every time she does that she adds yet another thing that is going to eventually set me off to the list of things that are making me mad. I gave her a vague answer to which she almost started an argument with but I just left it. Anyways I was feeling like SO sick and she was talking SO loudly in the car and for no reason and, I KNOW I shouldn't have but I remember saying "Why are you talking, please stop." And she's like "What I'm not allowed to talk??" And I was already pissed from the whole day and I was like "I am so sick right now, and you're being so loud, so no not really." Again NOT my place to say that, shouldn't have, I don't usually snap like that just was feeling so bad. Anyways she did stop talking and when I got home I had to go sit in the bathroom but I was fine and as far as I was concerned we both were fine and went about our night. Next morning my dad tells me she's super pissed at me for telling her to "shut her mouth" (I do not remember saying that) and that she is going to start charging me rent because I am so disrespectful and I don't see all she's done for me. I wasn't going to argue that because yeah I guess this isn't my house, and I didn't argue and told them I was totally fine with it, but I do not spend money on anything, not clothes not food, nothing, I am saving up because they want me to buy a house and they know that. My problem is is that 1. this is just keeping me here for longer and 2. while it is significantly cheaper than rent anywhere else, the whole point in me doing absolutely nothing all the time is so they can't say I'm wasting my money. Maybe im an ass for thinking this but it would be one thing if I was going out and blowing money while living at home for free, i could understand them charging rent because clearly I do not understand responsibility, but I don't do that. I just sit in my room literally all day and the reason I don't leave IS because of them and the fact that I don't want them to think I go out and blow money. But now I'm being charged rent and setting myself back even further for a house all to, no joke, just sit here in my room; i just got a little raise which I was SO excited about but now all of that raise money is going to go to rent. Also my mom has been giving me the silent treatment after that one for now 3 days. "take that opportunity to go out" oh yeah that will go over well in the respect dept.

Anyways I don't know what to do. I am SO bored hence why I was able to write out this whole thing. My life, other than the online thing they don't know about, is completely nothing. I type, eat, scroll, and sleep, and now I am being charged to do that to teach me "responsibility" when everything else I do in regards to money is to show them responsibility. If i move out (i do not at all make enough for that) I'm going to have to deal with their disapproval of me leaving BECAUSE I don't have enough. Advice???