How can I even forgive myself?

Here I am, scrolling through all the posts trying to console myself but I can't. Three weeks ago I tried to Jump over the tennis net on an impulsive thought and got my left foot stuck at the end of the net so I reflexed and pulled my right foot beneath me to not fall, I ended up twisting my knee and having two meniscal tears and ACL rupture -stupid reflex!-. However, I am unable to forgive myself for what I did to it, I just started to recover from a car accident that happened two years ago and I was able after hard work to enjoy myself and play tennis with minimal pain, here I am again back to square one or even minus one I was happy, moving freely not worrying about my body. I don't know what is next, my surgery after a few weeks and I am afraid of what is next, dreading the fact that I will not be able to walk for at least 4 weeks -this is what I hope for now- I have to carry the burden of worrying my family and destroying myself for something that is not even worth it, am I wishing I got it in a more decent way at least? Like playing a sport? Maybe but I have to live with this mistake and move forward into a journey that I don't know how it will end because all I wish for is to go back to being as agile and quick as I was on the tennis court, where I loved being.

I am just venting, feeling guilty for how I did it to myself and afraid of what is coming next.